Grappling with Blue Eff in a World Adrift
Ruminations on the responses I received following my "Impending Departure" substack earlier this month...and a Pride Month Experience worth remembering!
Saturday, June 22nd, 2024
It’s an imperfect analogy, but at the moment, it feels like the people of the West (in particular) are either already adrift in frigid waters or desperately holding onto anything and everything they can as our cultural cruise ship upends itself into the same ice-laden waters that swallowed the Titanic a century and change ago.
I am an excellent swimmer. Been in the water my whole life, and as the Pacific was my swimming pool, my Dad taught me how to stay alive. That meant learning how to stay afloat for hours without tiring, judging the surf, knowing when it would be best to get past the breakers into easier swells, and the most important rule of all — never turn your back to the ocean.
But, more importantly, my Dad taught me to be brave.
When wisdom and experience fail you, or you’re facing a sneaker wave that no one could have predicted, you have only two choices. Be brave and dive into the dark maw of the massive wave curling far above you, or hesitate and be scraped across the ocean floor as you’re held under for far longer than you’d like.
Trust me. Diving into the wave — no matter how terrifying — is the better option. Every time.
Which brings me to my recent decision to exit what I now think of as: “The Blue Eff.” For myself, as a purger by nature, I thrive on the feeling of a “clean departure.” After years of mixed feelings about Facebook, I’m ready for the finality of a clean break. And so, in my June 9th article, “My Impending Departure from Facebook,” I laid out my reasons for divesting from a platform I honestly consider to be both a waste of time and enemy territory (as it is controlled by humans seeking to secretively and blatantly manipulate and control other humans).
Then, some of you shared your thoughts. Ah…
I’m sharing four of these comments at the end of this substack, in their entirety. Not because they don’t deserve to be front and center — but because I want to leave all of you with their thoughts, uneditorialized by me.
What I will say is that they caused me to hesitate long enough for the following events to occur, illustrating the intent of their comments brilliantly.
Going into this story, let me share that this pattern of events has happened before. Multiple times. It seems to be a theme that aligns closely with what Spearchucker and others are alluding to in their comments below.
Okay. Here we go!
Roughly two weeks ago, as Pride Month got going, someone on my island discovered content published by our rare and much-beloved Russian Orthodox Monastery. All-Merciful Saviour Monastery is a monastic community of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia, and it happens to be the only male Orthodox monastery in Washington.
Yes. These people!
You might imagine their worldview differs slightly from that of the current demographic making up the Queer community. Which is awesome! I, as a tried and true American who has had the privilege to travel the globe, absolutely love and deeply appreciate the abundance of diverse views, lifestyles, languages, cultures, and historical backgrounds that can be found in my home country.
Indeed, the coexistence of these two groups (a Russian Orthodox Monastery within Vashon Island’s zip code which represents the highest per capita queer population in the country, I believe, beating out even San Francisco) is an example of our mission statement as a nation (our Constitution) being achieved one intentional or accidental step at a time.
This is diversity at its best.
(Note: I use “Queer” because, at my age, it’s clear the alphabet soup acronym is likely to change again, and I’d rather this article not become inaccurate over time.)
Years ago, I visited the Monastery, out of curiosity and I think I was researching an article or seeking insights for my radio show. I don’t recall exactly, but more recently, my son’s girlfriend’s brother discovered his faith and spent many weekends over a couple years at the Monastery, seeking guidance, religious study, brotherhood, and spiritually growing into who he is today. This July, I will attend his wedding in Montana, the ceremony to be held at the local Syrian Orthodox Church.
Christians, of various sorts, still seem to exist! Who knew? LOL…
Anyway, in summary, I’ve met Father Tryphon a couple times, his cell number is in my contacts, and I attended one of his Sunday Sermons year ago, as a guest of a local Russian Orthodox island family. I rarely see him but basically like him, I tend to share his views of individual liberty from government coercion, and I know they donate money to local charities (I think DOVE, which is a domestic violance non-profit). Oh, and they raise money by selling coffee! Anyway, to orient you, here is a video he posted roughly a year ago, and another one, celebrating moments in nature.
To finish painting the scene, as many of you may know, I am my own version of agnostic. To put it simply, I don’t believe humans are capable of comprehending something as incredible as the creationary force that brought our Universe into being. To me, this expresses my amazement at the most incredible event ever, and while I believe we can try, I am firmly committed to the idea that we cannot know (at this time) with 100% accuracy. And, for the “science” types who believe we are capable of judging the age of the Universe and are certain that all of existence came into being due to a Big Bang Event (which we can also put a date to?) — let me remind you, the Plate tectonic theory only began in 1915 when Alfred Wegener proposed his theory of continental drift. And, it was only after WWII and into the 1970’s (when I was toddling around the waves of the Pacific Ocean), that Wegner's theory was updated and accepted as plate tectonic theory.
To say we are in our scientific infancy or toddlerhood, is not a stretch.
Therefore! I practice humility by being open to the many ways in which human beings seek that truth, respecting their journeys, accepting there may be aspects of their belief that are correct and others which are incorrect, and I wait. When I die, I will then discover what comes after this life and — even this is a presupposition — maybe in that state I will come face to face with the wholeness of “the truth,” or maybe I won’t. Whatever happens, I do my best with my time here, I appreciate all my blessings, and I trust that if I am to serve a divine purpose; God or the Universe will make it know (and yes, I am listening, open to, and requesting guidance).
I am sharing my personal views only to make it clear I don’t have a dog in the fight that brewed over the past month. So…what happened? And what does ANY OF THIS have to do with The Blue Eff?
As I was waiting for my FB friends to respond to my many Private Messages alerting them to my impending departure (and asking for contact information, should they wish to remain in contact), a post showed up on my feed. It was from a local, “all island” group, and it was calling out Father Tryphon for posting content that was anti-queer.
A boycott of their coffee was called for, accusations of doxxing (by the monastery) flew, while a form of doxxing (online shaming) was being perpetrated by the same people hurling accusations. The monastery (who never made any comments on this FB group) and especially Father Tryphon, were maligned in extremely aggressive, hostile, insulting ways, and community members were encouraged to join in on the attack. An in-person meeting was called for, where the organizers planned to use “Kingian Nonviolence” in order to “combat” the (insert threat, fear, sin, or other punitive-worthy acts) of the Monastery and its Monks.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36f31881-9414-44f2-ac2b-3e4dcf8ec3e4_1012x746.png)
Additionally, the King County Sheriff was called, videos were “captured” by the outraged, scared, and vindictive (to be preserved as proof of the Monastery’s terrible-ness), and the monastery chose to remove some content, with Father Tryphon issuing a heartfelt public apology that was instantly derided, dismissed, and labeled thoroughly inadequate by the censorious voices dominating the conversation.
Then…there’s what happened to me.
On the first day, when the onslaught first started, I wrote in, encouraging those who were concerned to talk directly to the Monastery and Father Tryphon. As the vitriol continued, I pointed out that those screaming “doxxing” were also partaking in “online shaming.” As the pitchfork mob swelled, I suggested a new group rule, discouraging public disparagement, insults, and shaming of fellow community members.
On the second day, I met with a friend of mine who happens to have been born male but now chooses to live as a woman. This person is brilliant, witty, insightful, historically well-read with regard to trans issues, and I choose (out of respect for our melting pot goals, as Americans) to use “her/she” pronouns when talking, thinking and writing about her. She and I were both aware of what was happening in that particular FB group, and she made the point that their aggression from a distance (especially calling the cops) would make it harder for her or anyone to approach the Monastery to respectfully discuss the issue — because they’d be on the defensive. She also, as a member of the Queer Community, felt LESS comfortable speaking up publicly on the topic, because the Queer Community has begun to police the attitudes and thoughts of their own members with a rather narrow set of acceptable standards.
I, ironically, was under no such compulsion to “toe the line,” because I’m not queer.
After we finished visiting, I headed home and discovered — I had been kicked from the group! No warning. No reason. Just kicked. Laughing, I texted my friend, and she replied, “What was it we were talking about? Organizations exist to protect their own access to power, regardless of pure intentions. Even if that power is just the ability to shut down dissent on their facebook page.”
As you can imagine, I didn’t really care. I was days (no, mere hours…) away from canceling my FB Account entirely, and to be honest, this is one of the reasons. Who needs the drama? Who needs the distraction? If I wasn’t on FB, I would have no clue this BS was even happening.
BUT, if that were the case…
I wouldn’t have spoken up as a lone voice against the mob-like energy that was developing. I wouldn’t have said what many of the lurkers were unable to say. I wouldn’t have pointed out the hypocrisy or the harmfulness of using a local FB group to attack community members. If I had already deleted my account…then what?
I’m not that special, but the truth is, I have a reputation on the island, and it’s for being fair, honest, respectful, and decent. I’ve been kicked off of two other groups with owners/moderators who got rid of me because they personally disagreed with my views. When this happened, in both cases, the group exploded into a week or two of debate over my removal BECAUSE whether people agree with my views or not (and many people do not) the vast majority of people appreciate my respectful manner.
In fact, the group where this was all happening was created just after one such event, with the goal of creating a group where you really could talk about anything, so long as you did so respectfully.
So, it is not that surprising that two days later, I received this message from the group’s owner: “March I took you out of the group because of your personal attacks on me which was wrong. I apologize. I succumbed to pressure. But you are missed and you do have a fan club.”
(Note: by personal attacks, she means I was disagreeing with various people’s views, not that I attacked her personally or rudely, because I didn’t. And, by “which was wrong,” she means she was wrong, not my comments. We’ve talked further, but I won’t go into all that. Suffice to say, she was under pressure by some of the more aggressive voices in the conversation, and we are all good.)
As a result of this experience, and the encouragement offered below, I am still on The Blue Eff. I am officially in limbo. Absolutely still considering leaving entirely, but at the same time, I’ll be honest. I write for two reasons. I believe I sometimes have a unique or unusual viewpoint that may highlight aspects of life that mostly go unnoticed, and if I am silent — I feel guilty.
At a very young age, I felt compelled to act. When I was in my early Elementary Years, and it would rain overnight, I would be 2-3 hours late to school, because I couldn’t walk past a puddle without picking up the worms that were slowly drowning. I got up early, at the age of seven, to race out to the garden and pick up all the snails, before my mother (the gardener) could get out there and start stepping on them (crunch, crunch) — I tossed them into the ivy of the neighbor’s house across the street. To this day, I do not kill snails or slugs — rather, I pick them up by the bucketful and relocate them to an open lot down the street! The story of the woman who was raped and murdered in New York (I believe?) and none of the hundreds of neighbors who heard her being killed thought to call 911 really sunk into my psyche. I’ve called 911 myself for so many situations where someone could be at risk, when the situation is one where I can’t act myself. And when I can act? I do.
I am of the post-WWII generation. We KNOW what happens when people stop thinking and start following. We KNOW what happens when people obey authority blindly or do nothing while atrocities occur in front of them. We KNOW we have to do better, and when we DO step up, the many silent bystanders in the crowd are then more likely to step up themselves.
And so, maybe I will stay on The Blue Eff. Just so I can continue to speak up, when no one else will or can safely do so. Maybe.
Below are three comments from my previous Substack that influenced my thinking.
(1)
March, I completely understand where you are coming from with this decision. I have often felt the same way myself. But here is something to consider before flushing FB completely.
Like you, I am constantly being given warnings, time outs, etc. by what I call the Approved Opinions Committee (AOC for short.... ) at Facebook. I am on a rolling 90 day downgrade of all of my posts, to the point that they show up so deep in the Newsfeed that I'm amazed that anyone sees them at all. Even when I try (well, kind of) to be good and not poke the bear too hard, the AOC will still manage to go back weeks or even months to find posts that they now have decided breaks one of their rules, and add to my time deeeeeep in the Newsfeed. I find this both annoying and amusing, since the subjects of so many of my posts that were labelled as "False Information" in the past are now commonly accepted as fact, and I love to point that out at times on my FB page just to try to get a rise out of the AOC.
This rather blatant censorship has had me close to saying "screw it!" and killing my page many times. What's the point of wasting time and energy if nothing that I post is even seen, or instantly censored? Sure, it can be somewhat rewarding to just scream into the wind, but it's much better if your scream is heard by someone else.
What I have discovered is that there are quite a few people out there who DO see some of my posts, and who now regularly (and anonymously) visit my page. Most of these are people who are afraid to raise their heads up where they might be seen and targeted by the AOC, and possibly get on a list with the FBI or other agencies who are looking for dissenters like myself. These people almost never leave any comments, or like a post, but when they do it is telling. Several times during the scamdemic I was messaged by a friend in Australia, one of the few who was refusing to comply, and she was having a very hard time living any kind of normal life. She thanked me for posting even the small amount of info that was not quickly censored by the AOC, because she told me it was difficult to impossible for her to find out much of what was happening in the rest of the world, and my posts were a big help in keeping her strong in her determination not to comply.
I have discovered that far more FB friends (and others) than I had any clue of were and are watching my page. Like you, I spend a lot of time trying to understand what is going on in the world and then sharing as much of that info as possible so that those who either do not have the time or expertise to locate this info on their own can get a better feel for what is happening in the REAL world, not just the BS that is served up by the MSM. Every time I once more get so disgusted with the BS of the AOC I get another message thanking me, or someone has the courage to actually leave a comment on a post that a year or two ago would have gotten me banned from FB completely. And that makes me understand that by dropping out I would be doing exactly what the AOC wants, and allowing them to silence me.
I'm a very stubborn person, and telling me that I can't do something is a nearly sure way to make me continue to do that thing. The last thing that I want to do is ANYTHING that could potentially help the Powers That Be with their agenda, and even though I am just one small voice, voluntarily silencing myself is one more small step toward helping them with their goals.
Maybe (even probably) I am overestimating my importance. But the more voices who are continually telling the truth where others might have a chance to find it, the better. By dropping off FB I would be closing off a channel where lots of people can learn things who might otherwise remain ignorant of much that the government and their minions at the Approved Opinions Committee want to keep hidden. You have a very strong voice, and write beautifully. I wish I could write like that! Make your voice heard in as many places as possible. The fact that the AOC is trying to make your life miserable shows that you are getting under their skin by speaking out on things they do not want heard. Don't let them chase you away from FB. Too many normies out there who don't even know what Substack is, and they need a way to learn what is really happening in the world so they can finally wake up. FB is just another way for people to find you, and hear what you have to say.
Keep on fighting the good fight! Whether you leave FB or not I'll continue to share your posts with others, and hopefully more people will discover you and what you have to say.
Tom
(2)
Good going! Literally! 😂
I share your frustration, disgust, anger... and concern for our freedom and wellbeing as a nation and society. We do have choices to make, but they often require letting go of convenience. FB is something I've wrestled with for decades now, and still do. Wrote about it here, if you're interested.
Happy to find you, March.
~ Mary (see her Substack)
(3)
Later, Mary wrote more about her thoughts, after reading Tom’s comment above:
As I mentioned to March below, your comment hit me hard, Tom. I've written about my decades-long struggle with FB (or what I like to call, "BlueEff") but never saw it the way you describe. Your sentence, "Make your voice heard in as many places as possible," REALLY stung... in the best way possible. I know you were saying this to March directly, but I realize it applies to all of us -- particularly those of us who are trying to open hearts and minds to a different reality. I'm going to write that sentence on a post-it and put it above my desk to remind me. Thank you for sharing your perspective; you've affected me in a way you probably couldn't have imagined... and of course, that was the whole point of your comment! Ah... don't you just love how the universe works?
~ Mary
(4)
The censorship or heckling increases when you are over the target. Put on a mental flak jacket and keep on posting - with code words was the Twitter strategy. I haven't been active on FB but started a page. Tarot type guidance/channeled guidance said that using modern technology to spread better energy messaging is okay, faster, and the work is needed. The world needs more joy and love.
~ Jennifer Depew (see her Substack)
Great essay, March, and I'm happy to be included. Let's keep the conversation going...