Maybe your "enemies" aren't your enemies at all?
Take a breath...
Sunday, May 11th, 2025
Today, I woke up to a fellow islander’s 100th angstful and furious Facebook post since President Trump was inaugurated this past January. I’m sharing my response to his post, because I am concerned that far too many people are caught up in what I can only describe as the 2-Minute Hate.
If you’re not familiar with the term, it was a daily required activity for residents of Orwell’s Oceania, who found themselves living under the dictates of a totalitarian superstate, according to the philosophical creed of INGSOC (English Socialism).
I have lived through a number of American Presidents. I have liked, disliked, deeply distrusted, trusted then lost trust, hoped for and ignored my fair share, but I have never hated a single one.
There’s a reason for that, and I’ll call that reason:
— History.
Nothing good ever came of hate. The question is, what do we do when people are becoming enamored of the emotion? What do we do when the expression of something as extreme as HATE is being celebrated in our society? What do we do when the SAME people who post these types of posters on their lawn, in their front window, and on their car’s bumper…
…will then behave like this?
Well, I’ve got some ideas. But, before I get to that…
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And now, back to the Facebook post that inspired this Substack.
I’m a very patient person by nature. I have compassion for the feelings this man is afflicted with, and I know he believes he is a miniature version of Luke Skywalker, speaking the truth and fighting the good fight against the evil empire! But, what if he’s wrong?
What if — there’s so much more going on, and what if — his myopic view of the situation has misled him? What if — his hatred, fear, despair and daily distress is unwarranted? What if — the world is many shades of gray, rather than merely black and white?
His post shared below is an example of the dark hole so many Americans find themselves lodged tightly into, especially in my part of the country (the Midnight Blue Region of Western Washington, which really means Seattle and it’s closest satellite communities).
His attitude and assumptions are:
a common refrain,
a familiar chorus,
a never ending hum,that has become impossible to ignore (for those of us living here)
fomenting the kind of blatant, unhealthy, harmful (and really, isn’t it criminal?) behavior displayed in the above video.
It also keeps people stuck in their corner — terrified dogs — ready to bite the first person who approaches them, thanks to a well-curated form of “fear aggression” ubiquitous to some segments of American society today.
And, that’s not by accident.
HERE IS THE FACEBOOK POST:
“I’ve decided that they don’t care. If they are intelligent, they would either care or their heart is filled with hate. For those who maybe don’t understand, I feel like their heart is filled with hate. So, we end up with intelligent people and ignorant people making decisions based on the fact that their heart is filled with hate. That’s more or less where I have to come down to reality. I’m very open to hearing something else as a possibility. If you can provide that to me, I promise I will listen with open ears. Until then, I will stick with what I said before.”
WHEW! THAT’S PRETTY INTENSE.
“I’ve decided they don’t care.”
What an assumption to make… When you start talking about “they and them” you’re not learning the new trans-lingo, you’re convincing yourself that there’s a nefarious group of people at a distance that are no longer human and who are the source of all that is evil in the world and that makes it very, very easy to begin fantasizing about how to do away with “them.”“If they are intelligent, they would either care or their heart is filled with hate.” Oooph! So now, “if you care” you have to think like I do? OR ELSE — you’ll be ostracized to the “hearts filled with hate” camp?
“So, we end up with intelligent people and ignorant people making decisions…” Ahhh, the dreaded “intelligent = not ignorant” fallacy. Few people can even define intelligence, and most who think they can, are wrong. Meanwhile, EVERYONE IS ignorant of thousands of topics. You almost can’t be “ignorant,” because it’s a ubiquitous state of being. It’s like saying, “the people who aren’t breathing in.” Well, we all breath in, and we all breath out, so the people in the state of exhaling are going to be inhaling within a second or two, and that makes this ever-shifting state an impossible one to use as a label for a person. (I hope I’ve explained that well?)
Yeah, the whole thing is pretty darn awful, and THIS is what far too many people on my island are posting on a daily basis, with plenty of righteous indignation and complete confidence in their black and white world view. It’s radicalizing and extremist-generating crap like this that gets a flurry of “thumbs up” signs and other forms of insta-agreement from people throughout my community, all of whom live in a MIDNIGHT BLUE ECHO CHAMBER that is echoing louder and louder and louder with each passing moment.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
Not entirely sure, but staying silent isn’t the answer. Screaming and yelling isn’t either. Below is my gentle attempt to shift the energy a bit. But, to be honest, I’ve tried with this person for a few months now, and I finally gave up this morning. My peace is too precious for me to keep this person as a facebook friend. I’m not mad at him and I’ll be kind, friendly and polite in person when I see him, but for now — his vitriol is off my feed, and sometimes that’s the best we can do.
Humans on Earth.
They do incredibly amazing and foolish things, all at the same time. Our best strategy is to remain calm, see the beauty every day, examine the flaws or errors in how people analyze situations, and rationally/respectfully point it out.
To notice people leaning into a different solution than you would choose — and to then conclude "their hearts are filled with hate" says A LOT about how that emotion exists within yourself.
Hate isn't something I do, and I rarely believe other people actually "hate" either. It's a label that misdefines a host of other emotions that (if we honorably try) are actually relatable.
It is within that capacity to relate…
…that a pathway to understanding, grace, moments of peace and wise acceptance can be found.
In other words…maybe your enemies aren’t your enemies at all?