My life is lived "between the screamers." Tell me I'm not alone?
Welcome to Wisdom Wednesdays! Each midweek, look for inspiration, hard truths, perseverance, and even joy — in the face of all that life throws our way, because we are here to learn lessons as much as anything else.
Wednesday, January 15th, 2025
This year, my Substack is getting overhauled, revamped — um, newly branded? Whatever we want to call it, I’m feeling a distinct need to both narrow and broaden my focus. Why? Well, to be blunt, I’ve been talking to God lately about my purpose in this life. How can I be of value to everything that matters most? And, given that all that matters most is quite literally outside of myself, the next question becomes, “how do I connect with my fellow humans?”
“Between the Screamers” is currently in the Top Five of my rebranding ideas, with a high likelihood that my name (March Twisdale) will also end up in the new title. As you’ll see, this potential title relates directly to today’s Wisdom Wednesday post.
I want us to consider the reality of society, and I will offer an authentic example of how bringing “calm, patience, openness and logical consideration” to someone experiencing fear and despair can lead to a beautiful outcome. But first, Bell Curves!
The Beauty of the Bell Curve!
While researching this topic, I came across a photo taken (most likely by a college student?) of a question that was then fed into some AI platform, in search of an answer. The question was about “phenotypes” as they show up in “bell curves.” Below is the AI answer:
In a bell-shaped curve, most individuals fall in the center of the distribution, which represents the mean or average.
The extremes of the phenotypic range are found at the tails of the curve, where fewer individuals are present.
Read that again. “Most individuals fall in the center.” And, in the extremes on either end of the curve, “fewer individuals are present.”
If we were purely logical beings, living in a world of unfiltered, accurate data and information, we’d be aware of this and keep it in mind when listening to those in the bulging, majority center versus those at the far, extreme ends of the Bell Curve. Not because one is inherently better than the other, but simply because it’s good to keep in mind that which many people think versus that which a handful of people think.
But, gosh golly, we’re not living under those conditions and thus, don’t we hear from those “screamers” a lot? Far more than we hear from the vast, vast majority of society that sits quietly in the relaxed, balanced, mature and respectful middle of most topics. What, we may wonder, are we to do or think about the silence of the middle ground thinkers versus the noise created by the few at either end?
In September 2023, Eryn Defoort wrote a substack titled: What is the Fundamental Difference Between Kids Who Resist Propaganda and Those Who Don't?
It’s a great read! Eryn is a darn smart thinker, an experienced Mom, a wise, brave, and outspoken woman who does her research, organizes well, learns constantly, and presents information well. She also touches upon topics that many shy away from with grace and gentleness. I recommend her work!
Without touching upon the “reasons” brought up in Eryn’s Substack, let me suggest from a purely mathematical and statistical perspective that…
The kids (and adults) who resist propaganda are those who are wise enough to ignore (or are naturally averse to) the outraged, volatile, bombastic, exaggerated, and manipulative “screaming” of those promulgating an extreme view held by very few people.
To be more exact — it’s not the “screaming” we’re avoiding. It’s the obviousness that the perspective being presented “by the screamers” is artificially inflated, just like when one uses bellows to puff oxygen into a small pile of coals, producing a temporary burst of bright, hot flame.
The Corrupting Power of “The Screamers.”
What happens when people hear from “screamers” all day long? For days, weeks, months, or years at a time? Two things.
(1) The “screamers” begin to sound normal, and
(2) The listeners begin to scream.
This is what happens on my island all the gosh darn time! Every day, in the dozens or hundreds, people who go about their day with a modicum of sanity and civility, sit down in their well-used office chair, or swipe their phone, and the social media inundation begins, the emotional ramping up occurs, and the fingers fly, followed by the dreaded “return” key being hit when they really, really, really should have “walked away from the keyboard,” instead.
Today, I’m going to share how I attempted to provide a “virtuous middle ground” response to one such “screamer” who I honestly like in real life. He’s a super cool dude, but lately (and he’s not the only one) I’ve noticed an increasing level of emotional despair and rage coloring his posts and comments. From here on out, I’ll let these comments (cut and pasted from Facebook) speak for themselves.
(1) First, we have the image my friend shared on Facebook, with his own added commentary:
“Can’t “LIKE” this post, but I can share the message. March on Sat. little will change for the better in the next 2- 4 years but you will be seen and heard.”
(2) In response to the above MEME, I wrote this comment:
Anyone who tells themselves that little to nothing can improve over the next 2 to 4 years is a person telling themselves that life on earth is dictated by the presidential election and it is a message of hopelessness and it is a commitment to political warfare with a black-and-white viewpoint and it is absolutism. And -- none of these are true or positive or helpful.
(3) To which he responded in this way:
You show your privilidged ignorance everytime you post on FaceBook, March. You dont rely on food stamps, you don’t rely on medicare, you don’t seem to have to give a rats a** about insecurity. Congratul;ations for you and for assisting in subjecting the entire country and world to the whims of a broken gorup of millionaires and psychopaths. You keep spewing your pollyanna BS about “it aint so bad, you’ll see… "when we’ve all seen already, but you and yours seem to have NO shorterm memory. I have ZERO respect for your perspective, but Hey, Freedom of Speech, RIght?! All Views Matter Right?!? Well F**K That, I draw a line at insanity and moronic BS. I wish you the best from the safety of our island where more thoughtful progressive voters protect your rights and the comfy cushion in front of your PC. Happy New Year.
(4) To this montage, I offered the following:
Well, you can't say I was wrong, as you've clearly made the case for people being absolutely justified in feeling: hopeless. You've demonstrated and acted out your equally justified black and white perspective on complicated issues, and done so by making war upon me.
Don't you see? I listen to you and hear your concerns, as you express them, and my above response was reflecting back to you the dominant themes saturating your Facebook expressiveness. Kindly worded, to simply say, "Do you see your own worldview and how it affects your perception?"
Well, your reply confirms that worldview and the effect it has upon how you are willing to speak to and about another person.
My life is not perfect or without strain. My attitude and personality, though? Having grown up and endured an adult life with considerable strain and hardship - through it all, my attitude helps me see the silver lining.
It is this capacity to remain hopeful and see widely and manage my fears that leaves me more open to considering possible good outcomes from varying human strategies going forward.
If you want to denigrate a person for retaining the capacity for flexibility, creativity, and hope, be my guest, but the person you hurt is only yourself or others like yourself who will feel vindicated in the righteousness of their own hopelessness by your hopelessness.
It's like the depressed leading the depressed, which is helpful to neither.
(5) Awesomely! My island acquaintance replied thoughtfully:
What I feel and hear when people say “I’m not gonna let this get to me”, or "I choose hope over despair” is a dynamic of ease and safety, or some willingness to let what comes come. It presents on the surface a lack of empathy for those who absolutely WILL BE HARMED by whats to come. If one can find hope, good on them. To box people into a category of “…is a person telling themselves…” is disrespectful and cold hearted. Your trials and tribulations are your own, but Me and You sit in a very comfortable position in this world, so I choose to be considerate and thoughtful of those who do not share my comfort. My worldview is that, a global consideration. It does not define me, I simply try to hold space for others while I live in one of the greatest countries on the planet, as greed, heartlessness and the inability to hold empathy for others stomps on the welfare of the planet, and my neighbors. Come to the Peoples March on Saturday, talk with folks, share your perspective as you walk side by side with folks vs, broadcasting from a computer. I wish you and everyone the best of all outcomes in the future, but I choose to belive my eyes and ears and remember what has gone before. Peace.
(6) To which, I did my absolute best to hear him while also adding information that might help him and I see more eye to eye going forward:
Thanks for the clarification and response. Yes, peace!
I'll ask that you briefly look at my first comment. Please see that I said nothing about "choosing hope over despair." That comparative came later. Initially, out of concern for people who are already in a despairing place, I wanted to point out that your comment, which you added to the Meme (so I wasn't judging the meme), was dark. And, it was declarative, as if there is nothing but darkness and despair that can possibly come out of the next 2-4 years. It was hopelessness offered up as truth and fact, and for many people (especially in our dark winters) already vulnerable and suffering from the blues...I'm not sure this is productive or helpful.
That said, I 100% understand your point. When a person diminishes another person's fears or concerns, suggesting you're making a mistake by feeling anxious and upset, it comes across as dismissive and judgmental. I did not intend this effect.
I'm also glad to hear you speak to our shared privilege, here on a safe island, surrounded by mostly good people, lacking in war, lacking in extreme weather disasters, and surrounded by opportunity and abundant resources. Interestingly, when I hear you and others (who enjoy our privilege) speaking darkly about the awful future ahead of us, it comes across to me as unaware, entitled, and lacking in appreciation for all that is good in our lives. Thank you for clarifying that it is your empathy for those living elsewhere in truly terrifying conditions that drives your feelings and concerns.
This year, I will not be marching "against" our nation's coalition government. I support the re-drawing of political lines in America. The working class Democratic Party that supported unions and the environment, eschewed war as much as possible, and advocated for basic human rights has been corrupted by selfish individuals seeking power and influence, but this is no surprise, because the Democratic Party I trusted is the party that replaced an earlier version of the Democratic Party which had dominated southern states, controlled Texas for over 150 years at the Gubernatorial Level, and strongly supported slavery and Jim Crow laws. And so, it went from what I would judge "bad to good to corrupt" and now I am hoping the movement of long time Democrats who are flocking to the Trump/Vance Coalition Administration will help pull our nation back from the precipice of endless wars, proxy wars, the degradation of individual freedom, government control over medical decisions, and a soft entry-level version of totalitarianism brought in under the auspices of "don't worry, just let us control you, and we will keep you safe."
With regard to "being directly involved, face to face," let me share:
In January 2017, I took my youngest son (Jordi) to visit his Great-Granddad who voluntarily fought in WWII and spent almost two years in a German POW Camp. Our other purpose was to participate in the inauguration of President Trump, because I wanted my son to recognize the importance of politics, and both of us were curious to see what Americans would show up to celebrate his win? I certainly hadn't voted for him, and I was certain that America would have chosen Bernie Sanders over Trump, but they put up Hillary and she lost. So, who were these people and what were they hoping for?
As you know, I had spent 15 months working on behalf of Bernie Sanders, "side by side" with hundreds (rather, thousands) of Americans, while most people were in fact broadcasting from a computer. I'd even traveled to Philly for the DNC, spending 9 days conducting citizen interviews with everyone from the lead lawyer of the ACLU to the city's Police Chief to individuals participating in the People's Congress at the Arch Street Meeting House (see photo). FYI: Arch Street Meeting House and Burial Ground is an active place of Quaker worship and museum.
After witnessing the inauguration and watching various protest marches (such as the Backbone Campaign) my son and I returned to my Granddad's only to head out the next morning, super early, to visit some of the historical sites.
That's how we arrived at the farthest out stop for the Rail Line we were taking into the city and discovered hundreds upon hundreds of people lined up...which led to my son and I spending the entire day participating in the Women's March 2016 along with literally hundreds of thousands of people who had bussed in, driven in, hitchhiked in, it was a political Woodstock of sorts, and we just happened to be standing at the tail end of the entire mass of people at the moment the speakers stopped speaking and everyone en masse turned around and began to march toward the White House -- putting Jordi and I at the literal front of that march.
I have a GREAT photo of him (15 yo), arm thrust high into the sky, leaping forward after having spent about two hours talking with people of all sorts and reading all the many signs, mostly handmade, that people had brought with them.
Long story short. If I can minimize distressing people, while giving them information other than that which is spoon fed to them by professional propagandists, and if I can leave people feeling empowered, capable, hopeful and with options going forward -- then I believe the post is a boon to society.
That's my personal goal, especially in the winter when so many people are overwhelmed already.
