Homemakers are the glue that holds society together. We need them.

Let me count the ways...

Sunday, April 13th, 2025

On so many levels, women and men who work for family & society (not for a paycheck) keep society going. We play many absolutely necessary roles! This is why homemakers should be supported & properly recognized and appreciated by family, community, and society overall.

Currently, homemakers earn 50% of the social security benefits earned by their spouse. This sends the message that homemakers are 50% as valuable as their “working for a paycheck” counterpart. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Dear Bobby!
If we want a Free and Healthy America, we should change this to 100% matching, because this will encourage more families to keep one parent at home, resulting in a Healthier America with homecooked meals, proper care for children, better access to medical care, less stress in the household, more success in schools (less stress for children), fewer divorces, cleaner homes, better managed vehicle and home maintenance, more gardening, more backyard chicken flocks, more support in the community for those in need of assistance, and so on.

Homemakers balance the family budget. They understand what is necessary and what is not, so when the income drops, they know what should be cut first. This makes homemakers more willing to vote for a government that balances its budget and more willing to pay the short term costs for both long term and “short term necessary” gains.

Homemakers manage the family medical appointments. We do this for self and kids, and often even for our spouse. We don’t just ensure that they happen, we also have the time to ask questions and when doctors and nurses are reluctant to answer honestly (or too time-constrained to do so), we pursue answers and do our research very well.

Homemakers only exist in a free society.

Women in Afghanistan may perform important work in their homes, but they are not homemakers. Women who are forced to remain in the home, with windows painted black, covering their bodies in government-required uniforms while being escorted by a male family member anywhere outside of the home, all while existing as legally disempowered, second class “forever children” forbidden the opportunity to work outside of the home if they want to — are slaves and captives of extremist Theocracies.

Therefore, the presence of voluntary homemakers is proof that you do not live in a Theocracy. Yet.

Homemakers only exist in a free society.

Totalitarian States ALWAYS destroy the family, forcing the next generation into state-controlled brainwashing camps (known as schools) while both parents are forced to work outside of the home. Typically, gender-less government-required uniforms are mass produced, further reducing the individuality, independence, freedom and personal sovereignty of each person. This “gender-less” ideology also applies to romantic relationships, with the male ethos of protection for a female partner being strongly discouraged, because men are easier to control when they are weak. A man who neither can, nor wants to, protect women is a weak man.

Overall, totalitarianism subsumes the individual beneath the suffocating weight of sanctioned government ideology that every single person must comply with or suffer severely.

Therefore, the presence of voluntary homemakers is proof that you do not live in a Totalitarian State. Yet.

“Voluntary” Homemakers are a measure of a people’s freedom from government tyranny and a signal or identifying marker of a society’s overall health and well-being.

Once a society has escaped Theocratic Rule and Coercive Patriarchal Standards (which limit both what a woman can do and what a man can do), voluntary homemakers become possible.

I stress, “what a man can do,” because it is not just women who make the choice to be a full time homemaker. I know men who have taken on the role, as well, and they often face the additional stigma of “a man in a traditionally female role.” This is a beautiful thing that happens when a society is in the “sweet spot” of government enshrined liberty and cultural respect for diversity.

Here’s what “Voluntary Homemaking” can look like (specifically for women) in modern Western Societies.

In America today, a woman CAN go to college (for 4-6 years), take on internships or entry level work (2-3 years) work her way up to a higher level of earning and workplace respect (5-15 years) and then start a family in her late 30’s. She CAN choose to prioritize her career, work while pregnant, take a couple months of maternity leave, and then pay strangers to care for her baby while she protects her career achievements by returning to the “work for money” force.

Or — as a Voluntary Homemaker, a woman understands we cannot have it all at the same moment. Have it all? Possibly. In a long lifetime, a woman can have a passionate marriage. She can be a full time homemaker. She can grow a career. She can enjoy a few years of wild abandon! But can she do it all at the same time? NO. Some try, but all that happens is that they do several things very badly.

My personal choice to become a Voluntary Homemaker aligned with the “do one thing at a time” concept.

I graduated when I was seventeen (17), worked my way mostly through college, had a wonderful, exciting life, and developed a career as a Professional Ballroom Dance Instructor. Then, I broke my foot and went back to school more than full-time, earning straight A’s. When, as a senior at UW, I became pregnant with my eldest son, I also became greatly ill and had to drop out of school because puking non-stop doesn’t go well with commuting by car or bus nor does it suit the classroom environment. When my son was born, I made the conscious decision to become a Homemaker, deciding to fully embrace the parenting stage of my life while postponing my “work for money” efforts until my sons were raised.

Was I respected for my choice? Mostly — no.

This, we must change if we want to “Make America Healthy Again” or if we want to avoid becoming the most dangerous Totalitarian State in human history. Just as voluntary homemakers improve society, a society that respects voluntary homemakers improves the livelihood of voluntary homemakers, gaining more of them over time. Such a society benefits accordingly, because if there is one truism it is this: We reap what we sow, water, tend, weed, fertilize, and care for.

Homemakers are the glue that holds society together.
And we need them.

This is the PRO part of the argument, and I will use myself as an example again, because I am emblematic of what Voluntary Homemakers contribute to society.

I know this because I was blessed to be the first generation of women to emerge from the Women’s Liberation Movement which had resulted in a generation of Latch Key Kids and we felt blessed to not be forced to stay home (like our grandmothers) or be forced to work in order to prove our worth (like our mothers). We CHOSE to be homemakers.

When I say, "voluntary homemakers are the glue,” what do I mean? Well, it means we do all of the unpaid work that keeps a community together, functioning, and healthy. When you lose us, as a demographic, more people fall through the cracks, and society as a whole suffers.

We’re the house where the kids gather, because there’s always fresh homemade food and a safe adult to talk to about the trials and tribulations of growing up. We’re the neighbor who helps out when you break your leg and can’t mow your lawn or water the garden. We’re the La Leche League Leaders who have helped three generations of women learn how to successfully breastfeed their babies.

We’re the backbone of sports, theater, band, and other community activities or events that require vast quantities of “volunteer hours.” We’re in charge of the meal trains for families with newborns or those facing a terminal cancer diagnosis. We’re the homeschooling parents, the free babysitter, and the one who gets called at three in the morning by someone else’s teenager who needs a ride home and can’t reach Mom because she’s got her phone turned off or maybe their parents work nights?

We are the ones with a flexible schedule, so our time can be utilized to keep the gears of our society running smoothly, catching what falls through the cracks, picking up the pieces that fall onto the ground, and generally filling in all the gaps that aren’t filled by the “work for money” economy.

We are the glue, and the more of us there are, the healthier our society.

I will make one book recommendation, for soon to be parents trying to find a “balance” to their future family life. This woman is brilliant, has lived both ways, and brings multiple points of view to the topic. Enjoy!

Her 1st Book, explaining how and why she and her husband (with big salary city jobs) decided to reduce income earning in favor of homemaker power!

Haven’t read it, but I expect it to be awesome, and this is the point. That GLUE I’m talking about is the “wealth” that comes from a life enriched by a Homemaker.