A Personal Story (#2 in a Series)
The toxic effect of labels looms large in our world today. Stop abusing them.
Monday, October 16th, 2023
Dear Freedom Friends,
I think we can all agree there is nothing inherently wrong with labels. We all appreciate labels when shopping at the grocery store for organic produce, whole milk, salted butter, and non-GMO corn. So, labels aren’t the problem.
The trouble arises when people use labels inappropriately.
If you’re ignorant and misuse a label accidentally, people will correct you, forgive you, and move on. But, if you’re abusing a label and turning it into a weapon — for the purposes of character assassination, distraction, confusion, or bullying? That’s straight up wrong, and you need to stop.
In #1 of this series, I described the relatively brief interaction I had with my long-time friend. As I approached her home, after doing some work on her property, she burst out of the house, angrily demanding to know, “Are you a climate denier?”
If you’re new to my substack, let me tell you now — I am literal to a fault. So, I took a step back, paused in confusion, and asked, “Who can deny climate?”
If you’re thinking, “Come on, we know what she meant,” you’re not alone. That’s what she said, too. But, no. I don’t know what she meant, and neither do you. Sit down one hundred people and ask them to write out the definition of a “climate denier,” and you’ll get 100 different answers.
Consider eggs. What does natural mean to you? What does natural mean to the egg industry? Do you buy “free range” eggs, imagining hens running around open pastures? In truth, it means the hens “have access to the outdoors,” but they rarely ever find the door or make it out of the huge, 10,000 bird enclosures, where the air is so polluted, humans have to wear a full-body, sophisticated breathing apparatus just to go inside. Now we have a new label: “pasture raised.” It does match better with that beautiful image of hens wandering through fields of thick, green grass. (Can you hear the music?) But, each farm is different, each season is different, and each version of “pasture raised” is different.
Oh! While we’re on the topic of chickens and pastures, here is where our girls live:
Like Chicken Eggs, What Goes in is What Comes Out.
To achieve quality communication, we need to be responsible for our emotions, treat others with respect, and sincerely ask them what they’re trying to communicate.
And that doesn’t mean getting “side-tracked” by a debate over what is the correct (read: only acceptable to you) definition for the label. Avoid that tangent, because the label was just a tool the other person was using in their attempt to communicate. It’s not the point of the conversation, so — rather than telling them what a label means (to you) and denying what it mean (to them) — just dive into the conversational topic in a direct and straight-forward way. Explore together! Discover together. Connect, through discussion.
Like our incredibly delicious and healthy chicken eggs — you’ll get out of the interaction what you put into it.
When we come to a conversation, with an intention to understand, we can’t help but gain value in our lives. To achieve the best possible society, filled with diversity and tolerance/celebration of that diversity, we need “community diplomacy” skills. Yet, these fundamental social tools which have kept humans alive for eons — are rapidly eroding.
While scrolling through social media, one finds endless examples of people blowing up, making assumptions, instantaneously going on the attack, and weaponizing labels all as key components of social media bullying, fighting, and discord.
We need to reverse this trend.
Weaponized Labels Work to a Point…
Imagine you have a friend who has been vegan for twenty years, grows her own massive garden, volunteers at a farm animal rescue sanctuary, and donates regularly to PETA. You like your friend because (1) you believe vegans are virtuous, (2) you sit in judgment of non-vegans who you believe are committing terrible crimes of torture and violence against innocent animals every day, and (3) your self-identity is wrapped around only being friends with non-animal murderers (virtuous vegans of the world).
One day, your friend posts on Facebook some concerns she has about humans (and their carnivorous pets) eating fake meat made out of bugs. In particular, she references high quality studies, such as this one, focused on: Chitin and It’s Effects on Inflammatory and Immune Responses: “Immune recognition of chitin also involves pattern recognition receptors, mainly via TLR-2 and Dectin-1, to activate immune cells to induce cytokine production and creation of an immune network that results in inflammatory and allergic responses.”
Because the vegan (and environmental) community is excited about saving animals (and ecosystems) by converting meat eaters into “alternative meat” eaters, you become upset when you read your friend’s post. You are heavily invested in saving farm animals, the planet’s myriad ecosystems, and the future of humanity! Bugs are a huge part of the solution, and here’s your friend … casting doubts, in public! Her words are dangerous! They might sway people in the wrong direction. Only words supporting the correct and proper way forward for humanity (bugs, bugs, bugs) should be expressed publicly, and she needs to think about how she’s coming across. What will happen to her (and you) if people start to see her (and you, by association) as an evil “meat eater?” Her (and your) reputation will be ruined…!
And so, your friend drops by, to share a plate of gluten-free, locally sourced, vegan oatmeal cookies (because chocolate comes from slaves, so we don’t eat that either), and you burst out of the house and angrily demand, “Are you a meat-eater?!”
She might be confused, or offended, or maybe she’ll be like a duck (rescued from an industrial farm), and your verbal attack will roll off her back like so many water droplets. But, regardless of how she responds, your behavior is inappropriate, disrespectful, censorious, controlling, and wrong.
…and, what’s the goal?
You may succeed at publicly or privately shaming your friend. You may make a point so aggressively (on social media) that others will shut their mouths, and become lurkers, all to avoid becoming your next “cancel culture” target. You may win the battle, ostracizing the imperfect ones, casting out the heretics, and increasing the rigid walls of your echo chamber, but in doing so, you’re eating away at the fabric of society.
Think about it.
Excellent, excellent essay, dear March.