A Call for Gay Men and Lesbians to Take Responsibility for the Trans Capture of the Rainbow Community

Sunday, June 8th, 2025

With complete respect for my gay and lesbian friends and extended family members, a long-ago friend of mine posted a beautiful description of his decision to become more open about his life as a Gay Man — as a celebration of PRIDE MONTH. I am very happy for him, and I also felt moved to take this opportunity to share my concerns.

Here is his Facebook Post, to give my comment some context.
Note: We worked together as Ballroom Dance Instructors, 1994-1996.

A while back, I decided to live my life openly and stopped caring about judgment from people who frankly don't even really matter to me. The choice to be visible was important not because I wanted shove my lifestyle down your throat as a gay man, but to show--a younger version of me who may still be finding their way to self-acceptance who might even think of self-harm or worse--proof, that you not only can grow and survive maltreatment, bullying, and hopelessness but rather thrive into a content and happy adult human being.

We aren't like the military looking for recruits so your kids are safe with us. Some people are gay and some aren't...you're simply just gonna have to get over it and move on...

Protect the dolls!

Love is love!

Happy Pride Month!

And here is my reply, which I wrote because I can no longer remain silent:

I'm glad you made that choice, as I knew you when you were young, and you're a deeply awesome person in so many ways. I'm not sure if you were "out of the closet" back then or not, I don't think it really came up in conversation as you were young enough that being single was totally normal and we were more focused on dancing anyway.

I agree, most/probably all of the gay men I've known have had zero interest in "converting" younger men to homosexuality. It never seemed to be a thing.

However, you and everyone else celebrating PRIDE month need to face the reality that you have a role to play in how the T in your non-hetero community is behaving. I have friends who are lesbian women in their 20's and they are regularly threatened and pressured to have sex with MEN who claim to be "women who like women, so you know, a lesbian," and if my real lesbian friends don't want to have a sexual relationship because PENIS aversion is part of their reality, they're called disgusting names, along the lines of TERFS or worse, and I'd like to point out that the OLDER LESBIANS my mother raised me with, and all of the gay men I know...

....are being silent.

It's just like "non-racist" white folk in the American South saying nothing when their brother starts mouthing off about some KKK racism bullshit, frankly, because SILENCE does become complicity in situations like these.

Gay men and lesbians fought extremely hard in my mother's generation to achieve so many great strides forward, when we compare today to America of the 1950's, and you claimed the rainbow, you claimed the G, the L, and the B (although I can't tell you how many lesbians are hostile to bisexual women, a hypocrisy I've always found disappointing)....but hey, that's "lesbian culture," and I'm not a lesbian.

So, just as I respect that I'm not a gay man or a lesbian, and should stay out of your business, I'm sad to say, you've inherited the trans wing of your rainbow community and you have responsibility there, because that segment of the PRIDE/NON-CIS/NON-HETERO/ETC community is rapidly being radicalized by forces that are not your friends.

Also, this segment IS chasing our children, they ARE swiftly working through political channels to create new laws that push government/schools/social workers/medical workers into families to take children away from loving/concerned/completely committed and deeply caring parents...

And, the "detransitioning" young men and women, waking up from teen (or preteen) brainwashing and resulting permanent life/body changing surgeries and hormonal injuries justified along the lines of "the authorities told me this is what I needed to do to stop being miserable" — don't they deserve to be heard and recognized as the canary in the coal mine?

I'm very concerned that older lesbians and gay men have gotten tired of fighting, and are abandoning ship while the "powerful, organized fleet of activism tactics" they created to push their own agenda is being co-opted, utilized and piggy-backed on by a new group that is dangerously out of control, often openly violent, and extremely good at turning young, distressed humans into an insta-army of paranoid, violent, radicalized soldiers of a war the rest of us are entirely unprepared for...

Your thoughts on this?

A note on allyship.

The term “ally” is primarily aligned with concepts of war and conflict. You need/desire an ally because you want to be “strong enough” to gain an objective or defend against an attack.

Allies typically (1) trade favors, making the relationship fairly machiavellian in nature, and (2) the agreement usually hinges upon a blanket agreement to “go to war” on behalf of one’s ally, should they come under attack under certain conditions.

When it comes to social issues in America, I have noticed that “allies” are increasingly expected to be blindly obedient to allyship roles and responsibilities outlined by the “victim group soliciting supporters (allies).”

What does the “ally” get? Social approval, bragging rights, identity politics, group membership, and relief from feelings of deep guilt or shame which members of “non-victim groups” are told they should feel simply for being born, regardless of how they themselves live their lives.

In summary, to receive these “perks” and be granted the label of “ally,” one must give up one’s own thoughts and adopt the “party line” which is ever changing as more and more radicalized individuals capture these large, powerful and extremely well-funded “victim status groups.” Heaven forbid you have your own opinion, ask the wrong question, or (gasp!) offer an opinion — if you are not a confirmed “member” of the victim group.

In other words, your job, as an ally, is simple:
Shut up, listen, learn only what we want you to learn, and then, do what you’re told.
This is Mao’s China level dangerous, and it’s distinctly anti-American.

I’ve personally been told, numerous times, that I’m not an ally because I refuse to debase myself, silence myself, or offer unquestioning obedience and fealty to a group that essentially wants to use me for their own gain.

As such, I believe the healthy, beautiful, robust and brilliantly valuable ROLE OF ALLY has been co-opted or denigrated in our excessively radicalized times — demanding that people give up their uniqueness, their mind, thoughts, ideas, and freedom of thoughts.

And this deeply concerns me. How about you?